Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
