I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
