How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
