fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
