I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
