idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
