I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
