Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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