all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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