I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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