took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I've blown a few things in my day
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
