I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
