he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
