cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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