chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
