Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
