Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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