Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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