Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize