Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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