dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
