Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
