my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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