addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
