Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
