so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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