is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
