Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
