I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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