hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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