is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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