K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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