i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
