I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
