wat bout pragnant strippers??
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
