Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
we're so committed to being not committed
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
