remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
