what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
bring money and cleavage
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
