this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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