she looked like the bat from fern gully.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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