I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
