Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
