respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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