my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I am one with the molecules
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
