what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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