I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
