He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
