Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
