Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
