Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
