I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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