i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
