i barfeds in our rink
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
