If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
