The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
