I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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