I can't breathe out the right side of my face
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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