I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
