Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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