is your mom at the bar?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize