The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
