So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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