We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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