I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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