The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize