Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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