I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
