Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
