he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
