Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My ass is underappreciated
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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