it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
