if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
